The Real Towers
by Knight Thunder
Summary: Sequel to 'The Real Fellowship'. Epic parody! Ch3 UP!: The uruks stop outside an arcade, while Grishnákh and Uglúk have an argument about therapists.
1. Surfing Over Anduin and Lightning Thing?

"SAM!" Frodo yelled. "LOOK! I can't believe it! An Elvis-impersonator!" He had an appalled look on his face.

And sure yes, Frodo was pointing directly at a guy with an Elvis hairstyle which was obviously a wig because it look quite fake, in Hawaiian-looking shorts, sandals, and a t-shirt that said 'He Shall Return'. He had a surfboard in his hand.

Apparently he hadn't ran away when the uruks came, as well as another gaggle of people around the same age as him, listening to music, talking, messing around, and a couple were making out as well.

"We could surf, Mister Frodo," Sam said.

"What if you fall in, Sam?" Frodo sighed, examining one of his rings closely. Before Sam could say anything he yelled, "YES. THIS ONE IS IT!"

Sam just had a 'LOLWHUT' expression then.

After a few seconds he recovered and answered, "Well sir, either you or a group of friendly dolphins would save me. I heard that they are nice in that way."

Frodo stared. "Whatever. We'll ask that dude – impersonator-" he shot a nasty glance at him "-if we can borrow some surfboards."

So Frodo walked up to him and began, "'Ello Mr Impersonator, I was wondering if we can bo-"

But here he was interrupted. The guy yelled "I AM NOT THE THIEF FOR F-" *BEEP* "-S SAKE!" And he pulled out a stick that looked like lightning or something electronic.

Frodo blinked.

Sam looked like someone had whacked a frying pan full of French fries into his face.

Frodo screamed at him. "I JUST WANT A SURFBOOOOOOOOARD!"

It was the guy's turn to blink. "Oh."

Sam meanwhile edged closer to the other teenagers, or whatever they were, and started listening to what they were doing. It sounded like they were listening to some kind of music where they were singing about what sounded like 'Hard porn', 'seven seagulls', and such. It really made no sense.

"So you want to surf, little dude?" asked the guy. "Oh, I am Luke, by the way."

"BUT WE ALREADY MET SOMEONE CALLED LUKE," Frodo yelled.

Luke was taken aback. "You don't need to yell, you know," he cocked his head to the side.

"WELL IT ISN'T MY FAULT THAT I HAVE ADHD!" Frodo yelled again.

"I have ADHD as well, just like everyone else here, sort of, and none of us yell," he said, but frowned, because he realised that loads of the other teenagers were shouting a lot.

Frodo glared at him. "Surf," he said plaintively.

"Righto!" Luke sighed and grabbed two XXS surfboards which were blue and green, and said 'midget' on it. He gave one to Frodo who yelled "SAM! Don't you wanna surf anymore?"

Sam came hurrying, saying "Coming right away, Mister Frodo!" Out of breath, he took the other surfboard.

"Right, just wait a minute..." Luke said and he turned around. Then he groaned. "Would you stop falling asleep?! It's really annoying!"

There was another boy sitting in a chair who groggily opened his eyes. "What...?" he asked wearily. Suddenly he snapped into his senses. "Oh, um- sorry. It's... just that I get really bored when I have to make waves for surfers with m-"

"SHUT UP!" Luke roared, pointing the electric or lightning-thing looking thing thing thing at him. "JUST DO IT!" He picked out a pen from his pocket, showed it to him, and put it back into his pocket.

The other boy look scared suddenly and held his hand towards the Anduin, suddenly making big waves. "Go on," he said defeatedly to Frodo and Sam.

So taking their surfboards, they started surfing unsteadily and almost reached the other side when the waves suddenly stopped. They felt it and out of pure instinct they jumped at the shore.

"-did not! I was concentrating on the waves the whole time!"

"Then tell me who WAS it?!"

"Are you deaf? I was CONCENTRATING ON THE WAVES!"

Luke glowered at the other boy, boiling with rage. "RIGHT THEN, Percy, if that's what you want!"

Luke pointed the electric lightning thing thing thing at Percy.

Percy turned pale. "You just put that thing down!"

Lightning struck out from the lightning stick and...

... it struck Percy dead.

Frodo gaped.

Sam gaped.

And then ran further away from the shore.

* * *

What will happen next? Will Luke come after them? Is Percy REALLY dead?

You can find out soon! In possibly after two other chapters... Or not 0.0

Anywho... TBC


	2. Kesha and Cup Kacke Land, wtf!

Aragorn stopped.

"Waaaaait, wait-wait-wait... where's Frodo and Sam?"

Legolas looked around. "I think they flew away."

"Even if they're small, they're hobbits, not fairies," Gimli pointed out, putting on half-moon spectacles.

"Makes no difference whatsoever," sniffed Legolas.

"Does!" Aragorn joined in.

"Does not!"

"Does too!"

"Does not!"

"Does t-"

"Oh not this again..." Gimli mumbled.

"Did I ask you?" Aragorn asked.

Gimli scratched his head. "Um... no?"

"EXACTLY!" yelled Legolas.

"Yeah, so stay out of it!" Aragorn shouted.

Gimli wandered off muttering curses.

"Wanna battle, can we battle on the floor?" asked Legolas.

"AGAIN with quotes," Gimli said from somewhere through the trees. "I don't even get this deal from Jersey Shore anyways... and alas, BUT I LEARNED MY LESSON FROM THEM DARNED QUOTES BY NOW. I had to listen to a hobbit singing Lady Gaga. Arrgh, but we dwarves push Ke$ha from the speakers twenty-four/seven!"

Aragorn and Legolas stopped.

"You listen to Ke$ha?" Aragorn whispered loudly.

There was a short pause. "Yes," said Gimli finally.

Legolas frowned. "Prove it, midg- I mean, Master Dwarf."

Gimli came through the trees. "How?" he stared at the elf indecorously.

Legolas glared at Gimli. "Sing, duh."

"I never mentioned singing, I said we LISTEN to it," Gimli snapped, his face going redder than it already was.

Aragorn sat down and stared at his sneakers starting to mutter-sing "Shoes, glorious shoes".

"I'm going to set your shoes on fire, Aragorn," Legolas said threateningly, "if you don't calm your obsession with it."

"What about YOU and your make-up box?" mumbled Aragorn, annoyed.

Legolas stared at him blankly. "I lost it." Suddenly he burst into tears.

Gimli took out his axe. "You know," he told the other two idiots loudly, still looking down at his weapon fondly, "I once carved a duck with this. It looked REMARKABLY like a rubber duck... except it was wood of course..."

He looked over at the man and elf, expecting some positive response. They just stared at him blankly.

"OH MY DEAR ILLÚVATAR, IT'S A LEPRECHAUN!" yelled Aragorn suddenly.

And so true it was... so true. A Leprechaun.

A tiny man in green clothes was staring at Gimli.

He was speaking in a heavy Donegal Irish accent.

"Once upon a time, there was a cupcake... and the cupcake ... had magic powers... and he decided to be the ruler of Cup-Kacke Land but it didn't work out, because a muffin had more powers, so the muffin..." the Leprechaun paused. "I forget the rest of the story!"

He evaporated into a shower of rainbow, and disappeared.

Legolas picked out some dirt from under his fingernails. "Well that was truly interesting."

Aragorn looked at him. "I never knew that elves can get, or at least allow, dirt to get under their nails." He raised an eyebrow.

Legolas sniffed. "After all that's happened so far? We sure can!" he yelled. He paused and then said in a monotone, "But we don't like it."

"I think there is a ghost here," a voice said from somewhere among them.

* * *

Dun dun DUUUUUN. What will happen next? Will Legolas ever get dirt under his nails again? Will Gimli make a new wooden [rubber] duck? Who is the ghost?!

You can find out soon! Or not... 0.0

Anywho... TBC


	3. Arcades and Therapists for Hate

It was raining. And hobbits don't like rain. Well, these ones didn't, anyways. I think.

Well, it was a pretty interesting day so far...

I mean, seriously, getting tied up and thrown on the backs of a group of orcs running across many lands while they made weird marching noises is verrrrry interesting, don't you all think so?

Well, that is just what had happened to Merry and Pippin.

Those darned orcs even refused to give some tea to them when they seemed to have just like loads of it... life was cruel.

It was a bit late, and there was thunder... in the sky... a few kilometres away a man in a doctor suit was galloping across fields on a pink unicorn called Silan, but that isn't the point.

The uruks and orcs halted.

"Look!" one of them yelled and pointed in front.

'ARENA 7 ARCADE' was written in orange with a white outline, on a navy and grey building. There were several people possibly in their 30's standing in front, smoking weed and other drugs and things to smoke. One of them also tried to, unsuccessfully, smoke a wafer.

The same orc explained to the others, "I haven't been here in exactly 3 years and 3 days!"

"I don't care!" Uglúk growled at him.

"I want to have my tea," another uruk-hai said. "It was so much more fun when the Mad Hatter was around, his tea-parties were amazing!"

"Yeah!" squawked an orc.

An uruk putridly spat at Uglúk, "And then you killed him!"

Uglúk glared at the uruk. "I have an irrational hate for Johnny Depp, so, well, eh, that wasn't my fault!"

"You should go see a therapist, mate," Grishnák said to him.

"It's time you got over all that stupidity."

Now it was Grishnák Uglúk glared at. "One, I ain't your mate. Two, I ate my last 3 therapists, and I think this time it wouldn't be any different. Three, YOU should go to a therapist, you claimed that you recently met a leprechaun talking about cupcakes and muffins!"

"The last bit is true," sniffed Grishnák, "minus the part you said that I should go to a therapist. Because YES, I did claim that, BUT it was TRUE!"

Uglúk snorted. "True, yea sure."

Another uruk-hai bust in then, "Wait... I still haven't gotten past the part about the Hatter... why do you have to kill him, just because you hate Johnny Depp in an irrational manner? I mean, WE hate YOU in a RATIONAL manner, and we still don't kill you..."

Uglúk glared once more. Truth be told, his facial muscles were tiring out from all the glaring.

The orc who first stopped them all innocently asked, "So... can we go into the arcade?"

Dun dun DUUUUUUUUUUUN. What will happen next? Will they go into the arcade? Will Uglúk or Grishnák go to a therapist? Will the doctor on the unicorn cross their path?

You can find out soon, possibly after two other chapters! Or not... 0.0

Anywho... TBC


End file.
